From scratch.

 They’re fifty cent bristles on five dollar handles, that’s what.

 *cough*

But seriously folks. I bet you guys are ready for a real blog.

…performing their new hit single Take Me Out Tonight Baby (or Regret it in the Morning)

(image source)

greeley started gettin’ into high voltage cause back in them days it was all tubes and tubes need lots of volts to run good so greeley built himself a big honkin’ 700 volt power supply and it ran them tubes of his real good but damn …them applehead ants sure did piss him off cause they were just plain MEAN like he’d just be sittin on the front porch readin’ a book mindin’ his own business and all of a sudden OUCH dammit there’d be one of them bigass appleheaded ants down there bitin’ the shit outta his ankle so greeley thought he’d fix those bastards too

 
appleheads – actual size

so he tooked a pickle jar and put a lil hole in the middle of the lid and then runned two straight thin bare wires down through that hole straight to the bottom of that jar and then he put some sand in the bottom and then he went out to the horse pasture and added about six or seven applehead ants and then he tooked that jar back to his electronical shack and disconnected his power supply from them tubes what it normally runned and this time hooked it up through an old-fashion pushbutton switch instead so that 700 volts would race down them two wires in that jar hotter’n hell when he pushed that button

meantime them appleheads in that jar was mad as wet cats and they was all tryin’ to climb out to bite greeley but they couldn’t get no traction on the glass, see, and the only way they could climb out was by climbin’ up them two wires and so they was climbin’ them wires and bitin’ on ‘em too cause they was MEAN and this time they had a good excuse for a change so greeley he’d watch them ants bitin’ and scalin’ them wires and he’d wait till one of ‘em got a real good chomp down on one of them wires and made sure its legs was firmly hooked to both wires so when greeley held up that pushbutton switch like an old-fashioned photographer might and he pushed it and said “smile, you’re on candid camera!” you can just bet as fast as them ‘lectrons could zoom down them wires which is pretty fast i can tell you that…that appleheaded ant he becomed part of a big fat 700 volt circuit

now most times them appleheads would just blow up in a flash of  light so’s afterwards the onliest thing left on the wires would be the head, still chompin’ down and just as mean as ever only dead now and smokin’ but see, the rest of the ant…ant legs and ant butt and them li’l ant antennas would be all blowed up and stuck all over the inside of the glass jar

but sometimes, now, them appleheads wouldn’t explode instead they’d start doin the herky-jerky on them wires i mean, they’d look almost natural ‘cept for the sparks comin’ out of they feets wherever they touched one of them wires but when greeley stopped pushin’ the button they didn’t move no more. till he pushed it again’ course, and then they’d start all a-movin’ again almost natural-like…’cept for…you know…

the sparks.

——————

heh. those were good days.

*goes to hell*

Our sophisticated A.I. interface determines your favorite music, then plays something.

As per Lea’s 2009 “Bump Your Time Stamp if You Love Xanga” project. From July 2007…AND STILL TRUE TODAY:

XANGA: MY REPORT

Most people on xanga are good people but some are stupid. Some people on xanga are pretty smart. Some people on xanga are really smart, but have unusually small sex organs. Some stupid people have big sex organs, but they are stupid. The worst thing is big people with stupid sex organs. Well, maybe not the worst, but pretty bad I can tell you that.

Some people on xanga read newspapers. Some people on xanga read books and then there’s some people that read computer screens only. They have almost the smallest sex organs. There are only two people on xanga that know about capacitors. They are the best people on xanga. Six people know about resistors. Did you know that resistors are stupid because all they do is heat up and waste power? Well now you do. Also, some people on xanga eat lots of meat. But some people eat less meat. The rest of the people on xanga eat no meat. These people only eat tree bark. I have never seen their sex organs, but maybe they are medium size.

 Maybe you will like this picture. 

There are lots of young people on xanga. Lots and lots of them. I tried to count them one day but I had to go to the doctor. Anyway, some of the young people are stupid and some are not. There are four old people. Maybe there are five. Their sex organs have shriveled up but they are really really smart except for that one old person who votes for Hitler.

In conclusion also the best people on xanga have regular or small to large sex organs and are maybe stupid or smart. The worst people on xanga are mean people who think they are really smart when they are really stupid. These people have no sex organs.

Thank you for reading my report for today I hope you liked it. Phil.

References: E. Power Biggs Performs J.S. Bach’s Toccata and Fugue on the Princeton Chapel Sex Organ. From the liner notes - section IV, VI…and the bottom of page 7.

Ok, forget the sex. But you already knew that. Look, the nightly fever is still around. I’m beginning to think it might be pertussis. But actually that’s not important right now. Right now the important thing is this silly illness recently led to the following bit of IM. Considering how laughter makes said cough worse, and considering how “I kill me”, I might just be speeding me toward an early grave:

Me (9:08:55 PM): mints? i dunno. i’ve got halls here now.

  
Her (9:09:06 PM): are you taking them?
Her (9:09:29 PM): i know how you are about meds

  
Me (9:09:31 PM): as suppositories? you bet.

  
Her (9:09:42 PM): sure that was exactly what i meant
Her (9:09:46 PM):

  
Her(9:09:59 PM): they don’t seem to be helping much, though…

but all good things must come to an end.

Below freezing + fog = microscopic supercooled liquid water droplets in the air which freeze on contact with any nucleation site, for example a blade of grass or a leaf, or…pretty much anything. Also known as hoar frost, freezing fog is a magical, rare treat. We were certainly treated this morning.

higher resolution (and additional photos) can be found in my albums

Ok, more like powered by a lemon battery.

I’ll post again for real someday soon. I promise.

Meantime, here’s a sweet acoustic version of the love song from Plastic Beach.