greeley's a rule breaker. always has been, prolly always will be. tell you what, if you put up a sign somewhere and that sign says DON'T DO THIS you can bet that not five minutes later greeley's gonna be over there behind the nearest tree DOIN' IT. cause he's stupid like that but that's who he is i reckon he was born that way.

like, take wasps. man if ever mother nature decided to hang up a DON'T DO THIS sign on somethin', it's fuckin' around with wasps. i mean, you just don't do that. and tornadoes. you don't fuck with tornadoes neither, but i'm talkin' about wasps now. and if you know greeley like i do you'd have to strongly suspect he'd be out there totally fuckin' with 'em. and you'd be right.

now there are two types of wasps that greeley particularly liked to fuck with and one of them was paper wasps and the other was yellowjackets and neither of the two is known for its sweet disposition i'll tell you what.

'specially yellowjackets. yellowjackets, hell they'd just as soon sting a man to death as look at him. they'd sting a man to death just to watch him swell up and die, observin' it as they would through their stripey little compound eyeballs. one time they sure as hell almost stunged greeley to death i tell you what, cause if you know greeley the way i know him you'd know he wasn't the type to wait on them to find a reason. hell no. waitin' around? that'd be like ignoring the DON'T DO THIS sign.


DON'T DO THIS  ^

so this one particular day greeley, he gived a whole big nest of them little yellow death bombs a real good reason to sting a man to death and that man was greeley. actually he was a boy at the time but see, there was this big ol' pine tree out in the front yard, and it seemed a whole colony of them yellowjackets -- hell practically an entire civilization -- had decided to claim the ground up under the roots of that tree as home sweet home and dugged somethin' like a two inch hole in the dirt right near one of them big roots that led god knows where up under that tree. greeley looked at that hole and that hole sure looked like atlanta airport or somethin' cause at any particular moment there'd be at least about ten yellowjackets takin' off and landin'. yep i tell you what them yellowjackets had one bigass thing thing goin' on under that pine tree.

inevitably in due course greeley began to ponder what would happen if he plugged up atlanta airport. so he got himelf a big ol' glass gatorade bottle and cleaned off the paper so it was clear cause this was gonna be worth watchin' and then he went over to atlanta airport and man -- even just gettin' near that hole made them yellowjackets all flustered and thinkin' 'bout killin' somethin'. there they was, all starin' up at greeley like as if decidin' exactly when would be the best time to sting him to death, but greeley just played it real cool and waited till there was finally a tiny lull in the airport activity and then he stuffed the throat of that gatorade bottle up that hole and crammed it in there real good and twisted it too, so as to make sure that hole was completely sealed up cause he was only gonna get one chance at pluggin' up atlanta airport and he didn't wanna blow it.

and man i tell you what. greeley didn't blow it. not five seconds later that whole bottle filled up with buzzin' yellow death like the enntire hive comed up at once, just a'screamin and clinkin' all trapped inside that clear glass cage though greeley knew there was probably about a million more yellow dots of death waitin' up under them roots just outta sight - and after what greeley done, every single one of them yellow dots was mad as a wet hen, actually definitely madder.

for a time greeley was wonderin' if them yellowjackets was smart enough to have maded an extra back door entrance cause that woulda been pretty smart but apparently them flyin' critters was created mostly outta anger and almost none outta smart.

so greeley sat there and watched awhile, completely unaffected by any backdoor action

but after a time greeley becomed a little weary of the spectacle and so he started wonderin' what might happen if he was to unplug atlanta airport. he had a pretty good idea but see that's another thing about greeley, he really likes PROOF and so pretty soon he walked back over to that plugged up airport and...man you shoulda seen them yellowjackets in that bottle fix their beady yellow eyes on that boy when he got there, well at least the ones that was landed and wasn't zoomin' around in little tiny circles. they was most definitely none too pleased but as greeley still lacked PROOF, he got real close and yanked that bottle out. then, as quick as he'd ever done anything in his entire life he turned and hauled-ass but it wasn't quick enough cause even though greeley was fast he shoulda knowed he wasn't about to outrun no wingity beasts much less a hoard of extremely pissed-off wingity beasts which even on a good day would kill a man as soon as look at him.

speaking of lookin', greeley looked back only once on his nearly-but-not-quite-wingity-enough-flight and i tell you what - to this day he still remembers it clear as a bell - when he looked back he saw A YELLOW TORNADO comin' up outta that little hole. and a tornado ain't a good thing to have chasin' you much less a yellow one.

of course greeley got stinged about five, maybe six times. but he had his proof now, so it was all for a good cause.

So I'm wondering...am I the only one who finds the whole "Cloud Computing" business - soon to be shoved down our throats - a bad idea? On many, many levels?

pictures of me taken during the "cavity prone years" are few and far between. recently, an old friend found and sent me this one; it's from a high school yearbook that i never bought - 1978. man. i didn't even know i was in there. must have been an incidental.

i spent seventh through early eleventh grade in that one high school; it was not what might be called "good" to me, and you can definitely see that here. on the other hand, it's kinda like...yeah. there i was. here i am. i half like it, and half don't.

 
we all come from somewhere.

Thanks to the ever-awesome Elizabeth for this:

This passage quotes “a certain Chinese encyclopedia” in which it is written that ‘animals are divided into: (a) belonging to the Emperor, (b) embalmed, (c) tame, (d) suckling pigs, (e) sirens, (f) fabulous, (g) stray dogs, (h) included in the present classification, (i) frenzied, (j) innumerable, (k) drawn with a very fine camelhair brush, (l) et cetera, (m) having just broken the water pitcher, (n) that from a long way off look like flies.’

Michel Foucault, The Order of Things, 1970

this thing made me progressively crack up. by the end i was basically a wet spot on the floor.


...two on the car number four wanna drive? ROFL