March 7, 2012
-
Bumpin’ that Timestamp
As per Lea’s 2009 “Bump Your Time Stamp if You Love Xanga” project. From July 2007…AND STILL TRUE TODAY:
XANGA: MY REPORT
Most people on xanga are good people but some are stupid. Some people on xanga are pretty smart. Some people on xanga are really smart, but have unusually small sex organs. Some stupid people have big sex organs, but they are stupid. The worst thing is big people with stupid sex organs. Well, maybe not the worst, but pretty bad I can tell you that.
Some people on xanga read newspapers. Some people on xanga read books and then there’s some people that read computer screens only. They have almost the smallest sex organs. There are only two people on xanga that know about capacitors. They are the best people on xanga. Six people know about resistors. Did you know that resistors are stupid because all they do is heat up and waste power? Well now you do. Also, some people on xanga eat lots of meat. But some people eat less meat. The rest of the people on xanga eat no meat. These people only eat tree bark. I have never seen their sex organs, but maybe they are medium size.
Maybe you will like this picture. There are lots of young people on xanga. Lots and lots of them. I tried to count them one day but I had to go to the doctor. Anyway, some of the young people are stupid and some are not. There are four old people. Maybe there are five. Their sex organs have shriveled up but they are really really smart except for that one old person who votes for Hitler.
In conclusion also the best people on xanga have regular or small to large sex organs and are maybe stupid or smart. The worst people on xanga are mean people who think they are really smart when they are really stupid. These people have no sex organs.
Thank you for reading my report for today I hope you liked it. Phil.
References: E. Power Biggs Performs J.S. Bach’s Toccata and Fugue on the Princeton Chapel Sex Organ. From the liner notes - section IV, VI…and the bottom of page 7.
Comments (163)
You’re off your meds again….aren’t you?
running in with a quick smooch x and you-know-what-kinda hug (U)))))) are adorable (most of the time)and always quite lovable.
ds
And did the doctor comment on your sex organs?
This is so funny, Phil. I laughed all the way through it.
lol. i remember this one.
mean people who think they are really smart when they are really stupid = no sex organs.
well then. at least they won’t reproduce. or take long showers.
Goofballs! he’s all “hopped up” on the goofballs, folks!
I think this just cries out for some venn diagrams using a 64-color pack of brand new Crayola crayons, on those big sheets of paper… that, or lots of spray paint on bridge underpasses.
love you
^.,^
Some people get eaten by GIANT GELATINOUS MONSTERS
Hey butthead, can you do DNA testing down there? Or can that mad scientist guy with the sweet M3 do it?
your focus on sex organs makes me think that you’ve been overlistening the gay tunes. i sympathize, my friend wally has been blaring gravy train!!! all damn day.
ambrose
you…you…..you just…i can’t…….DANGit.
yes. the right height.
Do you think he could do a DNA test for me? You should ask him. Pretty please? Currently waiting for results on one for a long ass time. I dont want to wait any longer.
heheheh.
i totally heart the Princeton Chapel Sex Organ.
such a solid instrument.
Sorry for what?
plumb bobs.
what about small and stupid people?
i like the cowpie comment you left at lea’s.
i just left a hilarious one myself. (i have an excess of hilaria today.)
understood.
…Your weirdness usually makes my day:) lol, thanks again!
oy, and i forgot!…
are mean people really stupid, or are they just spiteful? i usually pin ‘stupid’ on ‘mean’ but when i think about it, a lot of people are just replaying the love they’ve been given or falling for a false feeling of entitlement.
ps.
did you get your screws tightened? if so, please explain how…
Ah, hilarity.
Not your fault, its fine.
No worries.
biiiit in my own direction;)
nah, i went off on an irrelevant detail, sorry, and some short chick really cheesed me off today, so i took it my way with the omitted demographic. i myself am short, but not as short as her, and, as i am myself, i don’t think i’m stupid.
ramble: what would happen to the world if everyone did really think that they were stupid?
you got a problem with the fact that i’ve been married 15 times? huh, punk?
i’m gonna come get you. watch it, pw…
i agree with you, but it’s bad to call it stupid because then people will think you have low self esteem and avoid you/ use you.
it’s quite difficult to be a positive humble unless you have something of value that you aren’t flaunting.
i usually walk around saying that i am naive but not innocent. i only add the ’innocent’ part if it’s a familar because i don’t want to come off as a badas$.
i think a lot of people would explode, honestly.
ryc: lol are you saying that only IN MY DREAMS does he reply to me in my dreams????
Sex organs….you’re weird.lol
<3
you have no idea who you’re dealing with. i mean, we’re talking registered weapon. like registered with the government. there are places i’m not even allowed to go, like kindergarten classrooms, because my power would shock the children.
Haha, I remember this.
I’m a best people on Xanga!
<3
I remember that picture.
ryc: Yes, the colors are very cool.
Thanks. I just plain ass dont feel good
truth be told:)
what’s the difference between a nerd, a geek and a dork, anyway?
xanga makes me touch myself late at night…oh wait, i was doing that long before the internet. never mind.
Wait – is it still possible to vote for Hitler? Is he running for something?
x.g.
I know,sometimes you feel like a nork, sometimes you don’t….
^.,^
You picked a good day to repost this. I had never read it before. Today has been a pretty bad day, but this made me laugh. Thank you.
Having fun avoiding it like shit, man.
I’m going right after I spend time in Germany learning the language and then get a bunch of French food before nailing a fat chick while listening to Bright Eyes.
As it is, I’m getting a ride from the flying pigs on their ski trip to HELL.
i think i can fix my monitor. TECH SUPPORT (AARON) CAME BY AND TOLD ME HOW.
it’s worth a try.
i can’t believe how clunky these old monitors are, with all that bulk behind the screen. sheesh. i guess i missed a lot, not having a computer for so many years, but then again i missed a lot of the bad parts getting all straightened out, too.
how are ya?
mmmm yeah ryc- on a black tshirt would be
^.,^
hmmmm i could make a stereo one, but only a nerdgeekdork would be caught wearing the red-green glasses …. ?
lol
^.,^
Thank yew for yer report-bwahahahahahahahahaha
Phil, you are easily the most ridiculous person on Xanga.
By the way, those of us who don’t eat meat have perfectly sized sex organs.
You…
Are….
A complete doofus
<3<3
You should try some of that tree bark sometime.
Or could I interest you in an apple?
Medium, curved. “Ain’t never been there,
they tell me it’s nice.”
FYI: ive been avoiding IMing you. Why? Odd last night.
And since when have you seen my dick? I’m sure its bigger than yours. :p
it’s nice to have someone run analysis on everyone’s sex organs. really. it helps.
I read newspapers and books. I win.
Yeah, I’ve been to Texas. The best part was the horsies. =P
Which category do I fit in your xanga studies?
Oh, and, contest is over, the song was “Since You’re Gone” by the Cars.
But you still get the virtual pat on the back because you guessed the band correctly. *pats your back*
Which category do I fit in your xanga studies?
Oh, and, contest is over, the song was “Since You’re Gone” by the Cars.
But you still get the virtual pat on the back because you guessed the band correctly. *pats your back*
I think you’re brilliant and that your report is fabulous. I whole-heartedly agree.
*snicker*
i am sure that more than two people on xanga know about capacitors.
Hahaha, that was interesting, to say the least.
like when i was at the mall buying a wizard hat for my little cousin and i saw this guy walking around with a t-shirt that said “The Man” with an arrow pointed to his face and “The Legend” with an arrow point to his groin area.
i read his shirt. and then i felt dirty.
I don’t even want to know what group I’m in… lol…
ryc- the arm is definitely swollen from the tattoo. It’s even more obvious when you look at the other arm beside it lol. I always swell when I get them. Sometimes I get rashes or a mild fever. I’ve learned that I’m pretty allergic to red ink so I can’t have any more red.
Yeah. Tattoos are fun.
Can’t wait to flip someone the bird now hahaha
** sweet friday hugs, with cinnamon rolls… **
^.,^
wow … oh so random
Thinking of you this morning, and of all the new rooms that surely await.
<3
ryc: I shore did! I dislike stupid men, but I love me some large penises!
hee! Nothing like a good spoof of bad writing.
well i think you’re being a cheater and reposting an old post
well i think you’re being a cheater and reposting an old post
I like the picture. It’s just the right combination of stupid and brilliant.
> you know, i ALMOST counseled patience;
If there’s one thing I’ve learned about
myself over the course of time, it’s that
I’ve never fully learned anything, even
when I think I have.
However, I’m way ahead of bluegreen algae
in other ways, like guitar playing and
fashion sense.
“Very pretty cool”? What are you smoking? And whatever it is, share.
Oh, and I landed. Not sure if it was on my feet, but I definitely landed somehow.
drunk guy drew it in the sand, only sitting.
Something tells me Geisel’s rough drafts went something like that…
I think I’m smart.
But I’m really quite stupid.
I spend all day in front of a computer screen.
Once again, I pose the question,
Can we introduce a negative factor into this?
Besides, some people think I’m a woman anyway.
oh my gosh. i laughed so hard my L5 disconnected from my S1.
I used to be an inspector in an electronics plant [and an assembler before that], so add me to the list of people who know what a resistor is AND a capacitor AND a diode…
And if I think real hard I can even remember the color code on resistors.
But I’m over 50, too.
You’re too funny.
.
this was very funny!
Hey, who you callin’ mean and stupid???
“I tried to count them one day but I had to go to the doctor.”
*score!*
ha.
I am always amazed at what I get myself into when I come over here. This is one of those times….
Well, dang.
*thumbs up*
My mind boggles at all the many possible combinations of people, their intelligence, and the size of their sex organs. Think: Mr. Potato Head.
@Another_Perfect_Wonder - you sound as though you just returned from a fabulous land of wonder and delight…
I’m one of the coolest people on Xanga because I know about capacitors? Good to know!
@anaraug - mustn’t confuse correlation with causation, but yeah.
I think you need to update this report, Phil. ^.~
@insomniologist - i see…in what way, jen?
According to this, I have 2 penises!
@odiada - let me know when you find one of them.
@complicatedlight - I think maybe more people know about capacitors now. Maybe this indicates that there are more “best” people on Xanga. Or maybe there needs to be another method of measuring “bestness”.
@insomniologist - well..YOU know about capacitors, right? so you’ve got yours. i wouldn’t sweat it. the others can dQ/dt their OWN way out of this sack.
@complicatedlight - found one in your ass
@odiada - oooh, so close! nice try, andrew. you’ve been a great sport. truly, you have. and don’t worry, you won’t be going home empty-handed…
@complicatedlight - well i have my other cock in my hands. why are you being such a bitch, phil?
@odiada - aw. it’s love, andrew. bruised and battered by the winds of a life…well…lived. can’t you recognize it? or are you too much a punk yet to.
@complicatedlight - Awww.
@complicatedlight - <3
Well, if you were looking at all the young people on Xanga, I think I’m glad you went to a doctor.
Still can’t help thinking you’d write these twice as fast with two functioning arms.
Perhaps being not fully awake was the right way for me to read this. The hell, though?
Your “reference” at the end made me chuckle.
By the way – since you changed the header “Cumulus clouds! Always” I was thinking, Well, I myself also prefer cumulonimbus, when part of my brain started working that into a size joke comparing clouds and sex organs. Geez.
@epiginoskete - you’re bent, amanda.
i like that
@complicatedlight - It takes some time for me to show it, but once it does, it tends to keep those around me entertained… and slightly mortified, I think.
Thanks.
@epiginoskete - i think you mean slightly DORKified.
@complicatedlight - Heh
Nah, y’all were dorkified on your own.
Apparently, XANGA is also like in the real world, silly, stupid and smart people for mixed up.
OMG. I hope you counted me as one of the people that know resisters, capictors, ion microscopes etc. I do love to eat meat though. No comment on sex organs. I just like sex. No wait. Love it.
@Mushmommush - some things never change.
…capictors? *i* don’t even know what capictors are. they sound kinda kinky, though.
you know your penises!
your wife knows and enjoys mine.
@curtainsopen - my penis knowledge is marginal. but i certainly know your girlfriend’s equivalent.
@curtainsopen - minus 10: not creative enough.
damn, curt. if you keep losing points like this you’re going to FAIL.
@complicatedlight - you can not be both score giver and contestant. i call no fairsies!
@curtainsopen - life isn’t fair, curt.
minus five for challenging the rules.
plus 5 fo jew, phil! subtractions for rule challenges made me laugh.
@curtainsopen - *bows*
respectin’ teh curt.
Good report.
*pats head*
Does that make me one outta two?
-||-
errr, three…
wow I didnt know xangans were all so sexy
@kaiori - oh yes. we’re sexy, baby. supersexy.
God, I love this.
@CallMeQuell - and i’d love you, quellers, even if ya didn’t.
Haha, that is hilarious!
bumpin’ the timestamp from 2007?!! Yowza. Digging deeeeeeeeep for that one, no?? But look…I visited.
@ordinarybutloud - yes. yes you did. and, sigh. yes i did. NOW STOP PICKIN’ ON ME.
@complicatedlight - well, write something already!
@ordinarybutloud - here: “…” three dots. not the most original, but give it up for economy of words.
@complicatedlight - now that’s true economy.
@ordinarybutloud - yes. it was even eclipsed by my own analysis of same.
this kind of report is timeless.
That’s a very creative use of time stamping and it’s a little bit frightening how much you know about Xanga sex organs
@oledphatnuglee - i got into the organs first. the sex parts came later.
wut.
I can’t recommend this post enough.
@dirtbubble - thanks, man. got any good eats?
What an insightful, philosophical, post. “Most people on xanga are good people but some are stupid. Some people on xanga are pretty smart. Some people on xanga are really smart, but have unusually small sex organs. Some stupid people have big sex organs, but they are stupid. The worst thing is big people with stupid sex organs” – wonder where I fall in here.
@BoulderChristina - i’m not gonna touch that one…in public, at least.
@complicatedlight - You are definitely one of the smart ones, then
There seems to be evidence that stupid, mean people are capable of reproduction.
@HappierHeathen - indeed. the world is replete with such evidence. remember that old coffee ad campaign? fill it to the rim…with dim!
@complicatedlight - Hmmm… Jim never has a second cup at home.
@HappierHeathen - hahaha…i knew i could count on you.
i get home and what have you done? bumped your timestamp. people who bump their timestamps are pretty much some of the best people on xanga. i am not a best people on xanga because i haven’t bumped in a very long time, but i am certainly intending on doing so pretty soon, i’ll tell you that. thank you for posting about timestamp bumping on the magic xanga machine. being the whimsical xangan that i am, i so want to bump it tonight. but maybe won’t because there is so much left to do before the full moon pops itself tomorrow and sex organs override brains when that happens. sometimes. ~ lea
@be_the_rain - sounds to me like you have an early bump on the whole thing.
and after reading this, i have no idea how large or small mine are according to your beliefs.
tree bark, oh baby
@kaiori - and blueberry by-products
<3
@complicatedlight - Always happy to oblige!
It’s nice seeing all of the old commenters. I don’t miss some of them.
@complicatedlight - Sex later ok ummmm yeah I think it’s time for sex later usually later mostly later sometime later always later. Sigh… I need to sleeeeepppp
@oledphatnuglee - aw. you sure do. sleep well.
Hmmm. How are you?
♥♥ http://youtu.be/kp_mbST47OA
@be_the_rain - http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_kfXiMaXoamg/SaNOvBr7p1I/AAAAAAAAAzA/IXHqWDsg4zg/s1600-h/PBF023-Monkey_Love.gif 
all i can say is..lmao! love you sweet phil..happy weekend!
i guess it’s time to bump my own time stamp. see you in the future, which was the past but is now the present.
@aaronmcnees - ain’t no shame in it. as lea pointed out, in fact it’s an act of love.
wow kinda childish! little boy, why are you writing like this? fur fun?
oh btw, Snake Eater 3D came out two days ago. So yeah, ummmmm… I forgot what the code word was, but I would say it right here if I remembered it
*chuckles.
like your sense of humor, phil
Hahaha, this made me giggle.
Thanks! Hopefully I’m among the smart people. 
hehe. But yeah. So true, especially from your eyes! ;D Thanks for, um.. Re-sharing! 
I hope you’re feeling better, my friend! Thanks for all the encouragement on my blog here lately. I’ve really needed it, and I appreciate the thought and time you took to encourage me. 
Thanks! *hugs* So, hopefully you’ll get better soon, as well! 
MY SEX ORGANS ARE SOOOO LARGE
very amusing, detailed report, sir phil!
happy birthday dear, sweet ‘ol phil! xx
lastly, cant resist leaving these parting words: hopefully you will be using, not just talking about, such organs tonight
ahaahhhahha i had to go there. i had to..
AUUGHH i missed your birthday! happy late phil bear day! did you celebrate much this year?
What a fabulous post.
It only makes me wish my woefully tardy recommendation were a meaningful one.
“No sex organs.”
HA!!
@ShimmerBodyCream - Well, that certainly explains the worshippers in your cathedral sized vagina.
JK
(couldn’t help myself ^.^)
this post is hilarious!