August 22, 2006

• STRUGGLING INVENTOR PERFECTS IDEA (perfected version 3)

  I too shall pass to ash and dust
  to reincarnate in another bust
  but before i do i shall receive
  (so i do i think believe)
  a shining mousetrap
  from on high
  to woo the girls
  and tame my ride
  …
  but if i’ve not, by this end day
  snatched a mouse in some new way
  then above my head
  it will be read:

  
  “MOUSETRAPS WERE PERFECTED.
  HE DIDN’T KNOW.
  HE’S DEAD.”
  …
  My friend
  now i must tell you
  should such sadness come to pass
  that i’m working on a backup plan
  it’s a simple plan
  with class:

  
  I’M COMING BACK
  Like the Cat in the Hat
  (only smaller than that)

  
  And I’ll shall check on all the mousetraps next time round to see
  how now, from the opposing side, they do agree with me!
  I’ll putter and I’ll poke, like i did here once before
  but next time I shall do it all
  from underneath your floor

  
  And when I feel like mischief
  I’ll click on your remote
  when you least expect it
  to a channel that you don’t

  
  Or I’ll hang out at the precinct
  to see how all you vote
  I’ll have to read your ballots backwards
  but miss it?
  i sure won’t

  
  I’ll do all these things by dark of night
  long before you’ve woke
  and by the time your diode cock crows
  I’ll have vanished…just like smoke

  
  When I’m done come morning
  I’ll have the cheese I’m sure
  I’ll whisker-nibble all day long upon it
  and build a happy store

  
  When I’m done come morning
  (go on and take this bait)
  We shall see exactly whose perfection
  is indeed perfected yet

  EDIT: okay okay. i’m catching grief for the double space and center justify. apologies to my subscribers for taking up so much room and the numerous edits, including this one.

  i’m keeping the center justify, though.

  NOTE: this poem was modified (as usual…) and reposted on august 10, 2008 as follows:

  Some of you may recognize this as a (slightly edited) repost. But I saw the featured question and couldn’t resist.
  

  STRUGGLING INVENTOR PERFECTS IDEA
  (perfected version 4)

  …

  Before I pass to ash and dust
  to reincarnate in another bust
  I shall create, I do believe
  a shining mousetrap from on high
  and with it tame this bumpy ride

  but

   If I’ve not, by this end day
  snatched a mouse in some new way
  then above my head 
  I’d like it said:

  
  “MOUSETRAPS WERE ALREADY PERFECTED.
  HE DIDN’T KNOW.
  HE’S DEAD.“ 
  
   
  Now if this seems a little teary-eyed
  comfort ye, dear lass
  for I’ve got a bang-up backup plan
  It’s a simple plan
  with class:

  
  I’M COMING BACK
  with fur 
  Like the Cat in the Hat
  only more like as his nemesis
  and substantially smaller than that chap.

  
  Then I shall check on all the mousetraps, next time round to see
  how from the opposing side, they do agree with me!
  I’ll putter and I’ll poke, like I did here once before
  but next time I shall do it all 
  right underneath your floor.

  
  And when I feel like mischief
  I’ll click on your remote
  when you least expect it
  to a channel that you don’t

  
  Or I’ll hang out at the precinct
  to see precisely how you vote
  I’ll have to read your ballots backwards
  but miss it?
  I sure won’t

  
  I’ll do all these things by night, you see,
  long before you’ve woke
  and by the time your diode cock crows
  I’ll have vanished just like smoke

  
  When I’m done come morning
  I’ll have the cheese I’m sure
  I’ll whisker-nibble all day long upon it
  and build a happy store

  
  When I’m done come morning
  (go on and take this bait)
  We shall see exactly whose perfection
  is indeed perfected yet.

  
   

  I just answered this Featured Question, you can answer it too!

  • 8:52 pm
  • 46 Comments